Old Times’ Sake.

If you must act so insolently

Just because my blue skies

Are now grey thunderstorms

You cannot bear the sound of,

Please continue,

Only remember that even today,

If you were to hand me a cup of poison,

I would gladly drink it for old times’ sake.


Painting: “Sophonisba Receiving the Poisoned Cup” by Rembrandt.

Advertisements

Handle With Care?

I’m scared, I’m scared and I’m confused and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who we are anymore, I don’t know who I am anymore. My bruised knuckles feel foreign and so does the faint beat in my chest that rises to a crescendo at times, I’m losing my touch with reality again. The days drag on and they intertwine with nights like two lovers on a Saturday morning, impossible to tell apart. The thunder feels too loud to my fragile ears, and sunshine too bright to my eyes; the only thing constant in all this is the peace rain brings.

A lulling,

torturing,

unattainable peace,

because the chaos inside is too wild to be contained.

Oh, if only you could feel what I do, you’d treat me with a lot more care, my dear.

Please.

Please don’t let me fight all my demons,

Alone,

And please do not try to fight all your demons,

Alone,

Because neither of us is strong enough to

Survive the fight,

I swear I can’t take anymore

Sleepless nights.

Can’t you see, I’m already

Falling apart?

Only a day without you and

It’s breaking my heart.

Life.

They say 13 is
An unlucky number,
But if I could be one age forever,
I’d choose to be 13,
Because I was 13,
When the world spun on my fingers,
I was 13,
When my biggest trouble was an annoying brother,
I was 13,
When I couldn’t spend enough time laughing,
I was 13,
When everything was fine.

But then I was 14,
And saw the world topple,
I was 14,
When I learnt how it felt ,
To be uprooted,
I was 14,
When I started quietening down,
I was 14,
When I met him.

And then I was 15
And I was scared
Unable to make
Sense of the world
I was 15
When I first felt betrayal
I was 15
When I learnt to forgive.

And then I was 16,
And I was lost,
I was 16,
And a hopeless case,
I was 16,
And in denial,
I was 16,
When I laughed as I cried,
I was 16,
And in love.

And today I’m 17
And I’m still lost,
But I’m still laughing,
And I’m still crying,
And I’m still unable
To make  sense of the world,
But I know not everything
Can be made sense of,
And now I’m 17
And I’m insane,
But my madness, the fiend
Is now my friend.


 

Image from: Handmade Philly

Inspired by:

“I’m seventeen and I’m crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane.” — Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

And yes, I do turn 17 today. Yay! :3

An Ongoing Roller-coaster.

Little do you know
How I adore you
Until you turn cold
And all my affections,
Drowned in melancholy
Disappear,
Until you talk to me again,
And I’m a pathetic babbling fool;
Love struck,
With my awful jokes
And unbearable puns,
Unable to gain control
Over these pesky emotions.

And little do you know
How absolutely I despise you,
Until you talk to me again,
And all the loathing,
Washed away with euphoria
Disappears,
Until the next time you’re cold,
And I’m a pathetic babbling fool,
Crying my eyes out;
Hating myself,
For not being stronger,
Despising you,
For being your cold self.

And then I am
All run out of steam,
Emotionless
All at once,
All you are
Is but, a muse
And I, a writer,
On a mission;
To show the world
What I see.

An ongoing roller coaster,
A never-ending ride,
Of high and lows
And repeating loops.
I, for one,
Never had much patience
With either,
So I wonder how long
Before I decide
To end this ride
Before I can
Take no more.

Strange Days.

The year is drawing to an end, and its been a strange few days with strange happenings, like when the flowers by my bedside refused to wither even after a week since they’d been picked, or when I almost cut my finger off, but didn’t feel a thing.

The year is drawing to an end, and I’m running out of reasons to keep breathing, really.